Years ago, I grew tired of spending money on a variety of games, and felt that MMOs gave me the most bang for my buck. $15 a month for unlimited access seemed like such a steal, and I slowly phased all other aspects of gaming out of my life. I devoted myself to playing one game for months/years at a time. It was a simpler time.

Fast forward to 2011. I ended up giving up on the MMO genre (though I would still dip my toes into massive worlds from time to time). The new kid on the block, the MOBA genre was gaining traction, and many competitors to the throne would crop up. Of the few games I tried during this time, League of Legends took hold of me the way my first MMOs did, and it still hasn’t let go of me to this day. Like MMOs before it, I still take breaks and sometimes don’t play for months at a time, but I always come back, and it’s the one game I still think about playing every day (and usually do).

That isn’t something I can say about other games. Sometimes I’ll start a title, get sucked in and actually complete it within a decent timeframe. Other times, and more often than not, even if it’s a title I’m extremely excited about, I’ll start a game and only get a few hours into it, just to put it on the shelf and sometimes I’ll never go back to it. Sometimes I will come back later on and complete it, but some games have sat half-finished in the backlog for years.

It’s not as if I don’t have the time. I have hours each day that I could dedicate to gaming, and many of those hours have been spent doing just that. But sometimes other bits come up. I have been neglecting this blog for starters. The podcast has been going strong, but it takes up gaming time as well. Add in a budding social life, responsibilities and Netflix, TV shows, and other odds n ends, and I’m out of time, each and every day. Picking and choosing what to do with your time is probably the biggest first world problem of them all. At least I’m not struggling to eat and I have a comfortable place to sleep.

This probably all sounds like a rehash of things I’ve said before. I have a ton of games, and many of them are really good and I need to finish them, if not for any reason other than to say I did. Many of the titles saw their fair share of time and have been eliminated from contention, and some are on-going efforts, such as MMOs and MOBAs. At the end of the day, I’ll sit and think “what game should I play tonight?” and often times I just go with the tried and true, LoL. It frustrates the shit out of me, and sometimes I end up wondering why I bother, but the next day rolls around and I’m sucked right back in. I think I had similar feelings with MMOs in the past, so I suppose the only constant is that I love video games, despite the fact that it’s not always good for my mental health.

So despite having a rather large library of games, and still having an equally long wishlist, I typically opt for playing League. A free to play game that isn’t going anywhere and that I can’t complete. My OCD side is screaming for me to play the games I’ve only tinkered with recently, or to go back and finish off that game I started two years ago, know is good, but can’t bring myself to finish. I borrowed that South Park RPG and barely touched it. I started Thief. I even started Yakuza 4, and it’s an interesting game as well. Divinity is sitting there. Dark Souls. So many unfinished games that I know I enjoy but I just can’t pick which one to play on any given day. I’ll even think about it when I first get up, planning to play one of those unfinished games, but by the time I get to the end of the day, I end up thinking “I’ll just play a quick game of LoL and then move on to something else” which leads to a couple games, and then it’s bed time.

I don’t think I should obsess over it like I am. I should just be happy with the fact that I am finding enjoyment in that one game, and be done with it. I see others still playing WoW after ten years, and seemingly enjoying it, and not worrying about all the other experiences they’re missing out on because they decided to stick with that one game. Why can’t I be like that? I guess I can, since that’s pretty much what I’m doing with League, but I still feel the need to play other things, yet I don’t. Apparently there’s something wrong with me.

So yeah, I spent most of my time the last week only playing League. I have plans to do other things, but they likely won’t happen. I’ve been obsessed with the battle to get out of Bronze, and I’ve been foiled at every turn. I dropped out of Bronze I again, and am pushing back up the Bronze II board to get back there. I really want to get to Silver, and then move on from there, but I don’t know if it will happen any time soon. I could talk about individual games, tactics, or otherwise complain about things, but I’ll just say that a lack of team synergy leads to a loss. I’ve had some bad synergy, sometimes on an individual level (I have a bad game) or on a wider level (someone is toxic, inexperienced, or the team doesn’t know how to close), which has lead to my difficulties getting out of this tier. I know that I will eventually though, I’ve been in Silver before.

Perhaps I’ll get re-motivated to play some other games soon. Perhaps I’ll have more to write about as a result. Just don’t hold your breath.

#stateofthegame #leagueoflegends